living your life!

It has been almost 2 months since I have last blogged.

During my absence in the blogs, I have been having great time with work and home (of course).

Mama is thankful for you my dear daughter. you have grown in to a very confident & sensible child. There are down time still but you have done well sarah!

school, kumon, music lessons are not easy for any 5 year-old. mama do not like to list the "achievements" here, but i must highlight your love for things you do, your friends, your family and life!

truly a blessing!

Bough shall not break

" ...so you think with the stress from work, ... you can handle it better?"

~ someone said this to me when mama shared that i will be returning to work in march.

yes, mama has returned to work. it's been 2 weeks.

several changes were made to our weekly routine. changes like such may chain-react to our daily lives.

"when the bough breaks the cradle will fall"

~ mama remember these warning words, humming in the innocence of this lullaby.

how true this is.

found the 2 of you standing outside my door after a few minutes of cooling down. mama's heart broke

bough shall not break, no matter what...

image taken from Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

love you sarah!

it pains me when you say 'dou-man mama...!" ( don't want mama).

this has been going on for months now. i told myself it will get better, i will do better. but i didn't seem to be doing better.

i know part of the reasons for such behavior. i only have myself to blame. mama asked God for help, but mama don't seem to listen to Him hard enough.

better manage my time - less time at work, more efficient working hours..., less time with friends and myself...patient with you. ensure time spend with you is quality time, more time with you now with papa back to school...

all did not seem to work. is staying home the only solution here? will it really get better?

mama really want you to grow up happy, confident, and not forgeting - righteous. ( that's why your name is 君 "jun")
it pains me, but mama have to continue insisting the vales that are so fast diappearing in modern living. Immediate gratification, fun and convinience surpass virtues and standards. mama is not perfect, far from perfect. but i am trying my very best.

i love you sarah. i may not show you in the way you can understand now. in time, i hope you can.

fav request "no teacher veedio!"

labrador park - look out area , sunday morning,

you were really excited!

you turned TWO

here's the over-due post about your 2nd birthday. before you turn 25 months in a few day's time...here it goes, as much as i can recall...

11 may 2007, beautiful sunny day. cool spring zephyr in the air.

papa's even was over, we could spend a day with him. we decided to go down town san diego, gaslamp quaters.

sum up this special day in a few words:

shopped, balloons, pictures click click click, noisey italian restaurant, sparkling birthday candel on 1st tiamisu...sarah watched in amazement! sing our way hom=), ribbons, fairy, sweet dreamsss...

you were not at your best behavior i have to say. but as the day moved on, it got better. you are trying to communicate something to us. though we are doing that better now, all 3 of us, you papa and mama need to be more patient with each other still.

i cannot figure out what to do. mama wonder how can i do a better job in leading you along the "right path"...but which is right or which seem right, but is actually wrong?

countless questions i asked myself all the time. I did alot more during the trip. paid close attention to you, your reactions, your tantrums, your joy etc...

at the end i told myself,

"...just enjoy the moments with her...i'll figure some of them out later..."...which i did =)

birthday present from mama to you, someday,

hope that someday you will read it and remember the words